I’ll get straight to the point here.
This is how I move forward when I don't trust myself:
My fear of regret is bigger than my fear of getting it wrong.
This could be because I have always been interested in death.
Even though my parents were Buddhists they sent me to a Christian school lol.
So I blame it on my Christian schooling and reading the Book of Revelations that I obsessed about death and a fiery afterlife (this weird interest eventually led me to winning a poetry contest writing about hell when I was 15 -- but that story is for another day).
As I’ve gotten older, I still think about my death, specifically my deathbed and what I may regret.
So I looked into it.
And this is what I found.
According to Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent years caring for patients during the last 12 weeks of their lives, this is what people regret most on their death bed (quoted from this article in The Guardian):
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
In a nutshell, I am in extreme fear of regret.
So stop worrying about getting it wrong and start worrying that you'll regret being so scared you never started.
